#bian ly

[m1ckeyb3rry]

── THE GLASS PRINCESS // THREE

Series Synopsis: You wake up in a strange room with no memories, broken glass at your bedside, and a prince named Zuko as your only chance at figuring out who you really are.

Chapter Synopsis: You have your first day at the Royal Fire Academy, where you meet the other girls, including Kaho.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Zuko x Reader

Chapter Word Count: 5.1k

Content Warnings: complicated relationships (strangers to friends to lovers to enemies to strangers to lovers to enemies to lovers), amnesia, alternate universe, lots of secrets and lying and mystery

A/N: zuko in his letters (sage, wise, cool and collected) vs zuko irl (SOO fucking awkward)

To His Royal Highness The Prince Zuko,

I apologize for my earlier language. In truth, it feels strange for me to speak to you as if you were my friend. I think that it is because you are my benefactor, and a prince besides, so there is a need for formal and proper conduct. We have that kind of relationship, if you can see it from my perspective.

Your offer of help is greatly appreciated, though I am not quite sure what I have done to deserve it. I shall try to solve my troubles on my own, when I can, but if it should come to it, I will try to remember that I have the prince of the Fire Nation on my side. I wonder how many girls at the academy can claim that, indeed!

Anyways, my roommate is nice. Her name is Jia-Li, and she is self-reportedly average, but all told, we get along well enough. I wish I could say the same for the rest of my classmates — barring, naturally, Ty Lee — but I am afraid to report that we already do not get along. There is this one girl, Kaho, who has a specific grudge against me, despite my attempts at avoiding that outcome…but I should not bore you with the details. Suffice to say that not everyone is as kind as Jia-Li and Ty Lee and Mai and you have been. It is as Jia-Li said, though: two true friends are better than ten false ones. It does not upset me (though it might if I am challenged to an Agni Kai!)

Thank you for feeding Bian. She did seem pleased when she returned to the aviary at the academy. I also gave her a treat. By the way, the falconer said she was supposed to be yours. Is that true? If it is, then I do not think that I deserve such a creature, though of course I thank you for giving her to me anyways. She is very beautiful and possesses a gentle heart, which is a solace in the more trying times.

Ever Your Highness’s humble and obedient servant Sincerely, Ursa

P.S. I am sorry to say that I still do not recall anything about my past. I shall keep you updated if that changes.

You were up before Jia-Li, nervous energy thrumming through you in anticipation for the first day of classes. Ty Lee had stayed late into the night, and then you had spent the candle Jia-Li had lit for you writing to Prince Zuko, so you hadn’t had any time to read or prepare for lessons.

“Ugh,” Jia-Li groaned when you threw open the curtains, the rising sunlight filtering into the room, a beam landing directly on her face, which she promptly covered with a pillow. “What are you doing?”

“You’re a Firebender, aren’t you? Don’t you all rise with the sun anyways?” you said.

“I don’t know who told you that, but they were full of bullshit,” Jia-Li said. “I rise after I’ve had a full night’s rest, which I have not yet.”

“Breakfast is soon,” you said, pulling on your shoes. “You’ll miss it if you don’t get ready now, and then you’ll have to go to class on an empty stomach. I’m sure that doesn’t sound appealing.”

“On second thoughts, I miss not having a roommate,” Jia-Li said, though she did toss aside her pillow and roll out of the bed, thudding to the ground and shoving her feet in a pair of fluffy slippers. Her hair stuck up every which way, and there were bags under her half-lidded eyes as she trudged past you to her vanity table. “You can go ahead and meet Ty Lee in the dining hall now, if you want. I’ll come down later.”

“Do you think she’ll be there already?” you said.

“Yeah,” Jia-Li said. “That girl is the epitome of a morning person. She’s probably been anxiously waiting for you for a while now.”

“Then I shouldn’t keep her waiting any longer,” you said. “See you in class, Jia-Li.”

“See you, Ursa,” she said.

As Jia-Li had predicted, Ty Lee was waiting outside of the door to the dining hall, where all of the girls who boarded at the academy had their meals. She was playing with her fingers nervously, but when she saw you, she bloomed with joy, dancing over to stand beside you.

“Good morning! Are you ready for our first day?” she trilled.

“Not at all,” you said. “I didn’t have any time to read yesterday. I don’t know anything. If the teacher calls on me, I’ll be lost.”

“It’ll be fine,” Ty Lee said, putting a piece of bread on her plate and spreading something on its fluffy surface. “We’re new, so we’ll probably get away with sitting in the back and doing the bare minimum.”

“Let’s hope so,” you said, copying her, trusting her to know what was and wasn’t good to eat at the school. She flounced to the end of the table, and you followed her, sitting across from her so that you two could talk.

“Ty Lee!” a girl said. “Come sit with us!”

“No, sit with us!” another said.

“We asked first!” the first girl said.

“So? She obviously likes us more, we’re way hotter!” the second argued. They began to squabble as you gave Ty Lee a bewildered look.

“What is going on?” you said.

“Besides Kaho, almost everyone at the school liked me…” she said awkwardly. “I guess you could say I was popular! Everyone’s happy I’m back.”

“Looks like it,” you said, baffled at just how many people were trying to claim the spot at Ty Lee’s side. Thankfully, none of them tried to take your space, though you got your own share of dirty glares, which you could only cock your head at in confusion.

“Guys, go away. I’m trying to hang out with my friend from the palace, Ursa,” Ty Lee said.

“What was she there, a servant?” one of the girls said. You glanced down at your clothes, which were the same uniform as everyone else, and then you swallowed. Unlike the other girls, with their expensive hair ribbons and jewelry, you didn’t have anything to your name that marked you as a daughter of nobility — because you weren’t one. It was a safe assumption for the girl to make, and it was even one you’d made about yourself in the past, so why did it hurt your feelings that she had said such a thing?

“Hey!” Ty Lee said. “She’s a friend of the prince — I mean, the princess! Yeah, that’s right, she’s Azula’s friend!”

Immediately, the girls scrambled away from you, and the one who had called you a servant paled. Dropping to her knees before Ty Lee, she bowed her head.

“I am so, so sorry. I didn’t mean any disrespect to a friend of Princess Azula’s!” she said.

“Apologize to Ursa,” Ty Lee said, chipper again now that she had found some kind of justice for you.

“It’s fine, Ty Lee. I can see why she thought that, so I’m not upset,” you said. The girl took the opportunity to leap to her feet and race to the other side of the table, the others following suit at the reminder of the princess.

“Those girls are all jerks,” Ty Lee said once you were alone again. “I’m sorry she was talking about you like that.”

“It’s not something you should say sorry for,” you said. “You didn’t do it. Anyways, I was expecting it; Jia-Li told me that the girls aren’t that nice, so it’s not a surprise. The real question is why you claimed my association to be with the princess instead of the prince.”

“Oh, that’s an easy one to answer,” she said. “They all remember Azula from when she attended, so she’s a more concrete threat in their minds. Only a few of them have met Zuko, and he’s been banished for a while, so his name doesn’t carry as much weight. Besides, if you’re associated with one member of the royal family, you’re associated with all of them, so I wasn’t technically wrong.”

“Alright,” you said, forcing yourself to chew on your food, even though it felt heavy and leaden in your mouth. It wasn’t a question of taste; somewhere, in the back of your mind, you could tell that you would ordinarily like eating this. It was your nerves which were ruining the experience, which made your tongue stiff and your jaw tight. You knew, though, that you needed food in order to have energy for the day, so you made yourself eat it despite your misgivings, despite the mental labor that even the mere act of swallowing took.

The classroom was small, which made sense, considering there were only a few girls in your year. What didn’t make sense was that the two desks in the very front were left open, though you had an inkling that one specific person had something to do with it.

“Ty Lee. Ursa,” a girl said. Her hair was pin straight and dark, half of it tied up with a white-and-gold ribbon, the rest falling around her shoulders, her midnight eyes reflecting the torches hanging around the classroom. “We saved you two seats.”

“Kaho,” Ty Lee said through gritted teeth. “You shouldn’t have.”

“I know,” Kaho said. “You can say I did it out of the goodness of my own heart.”

“Like I said,” Ty Lee said. “You shouldn’t have.”

“Thank you,” you said softly, not wanting to get into an argument with the very girl Jia-Li had warned you about last night.

“See,” Kaho said. “At least one of you has proper manners. Though, to be honest, I would’ve expected the daughter of a nobleman to be raised better than the girl that the prince found in the trash.”

“She wasn’t found in the trash!” Ty Lee said.

“Wasn’t she?” Kaho said.

“You can let it be, Ty Lee. It’s fine,” you said. “Let’s just sit down before the Etiquette Mistress gets here.”

Your first class was on the proper etiquette to have in polite society. Considering the many subtleties of etiquette, this was something you were nervous for, as you had no idea how to behave in polite society, or what any of that meant in the first place. It seemed that the others expected as much, for there was a multitude of snickers as you sat in the very front and waited for the Etiquette Mistress to arrive.

“Wonderful, everyone is on time!” the Etiquette Mistress said as she walked in exactly at the second class had to start. She was a neatly dressed and perfectly put together woman, with not even an eyelash out of place. “Let’s begin promptly with a review from our last class. Who can tell me what the three pillars of etiquette are?” She scanned the room, but only one girl had her hand raised. “Kaho?”

“Respect, consideration, and punctuality,” Kaho said, smirking as she folded her hands in her lap. The Etiquette Mistress did not frown, but the corners of her mouth threatened to tug downwards, and before you could think about it, you were raising your own hand.

“Ursa?” the Etiquette Mistress said. “Do you have something else to add?”

“It’s a common misconception that punctuality is a pillar of etiquette. However, in truth, it is not a pillar unto itself but rather a natural development and extension of the pillars of respect and consideration,” you said, though you had no idea where the words were coming from, only that some long-dormant knowledge of yours was bubbling to the surface. “The third pillar is actually honesty, madam, though of course honesty does not imply brutality but tact, benevolence, and integrity.”

Everyone in the room was silent. You could feel Kaho’s eyes boring holes into your back, but you stared steadily ahead, waiting for the Etiquette Mistress to react.

She smiled slightly. “That is correct. I also appreciate that you addressed me with a title; it demonstrates an elegant sort of etiquette that a lady must be born with or else have studied in depth from a young age.”

“Thank you, madam,” you said. The Etiquette Mistress nodded before turning to the board so that she could continue to teach you a lesson on which utensils to use for which meal.

This, too, you excelled in. You were the only student who knew when to use each utensil, even during the trick questions that the Etiquette Mistress threw out to trip you up. With every subsequent test passed, you felt your approval in the eyes of the Etiquette Mistress rising, though it was rapidly falling amongst your classmates, especially Kaho, who must’ve once been the star of the class.

“I thought you said you didn’t have time to study!” Ty Lee hissed once the Etiquette Mistress had left and you all were given a five minute break before the History Mistress arrived.

“I didn’t,” you said.

“Huh? Then how’d you manage to answer her questions so perfectly?” she said.

“I’m not sure. I just knew it already, somehow,” you said.

“Looks like Prince Zuko has a keen eye,” Kaho said from behind you. “To find the diamond amongst the sludge.”

For some reason, even though she was calling you a diamond, it didn’t feel like much of a compliment. Ty Lee seemed to agree, her kind, open face closing into a dark scowl.

“Kaho, you should just shut up,” she said.

“Is that a challenge?” Kaho said.

“It could be, but don’t forget that I’m one of Azula’s most trusted comrades. Is that a fight you think you could win?” Ty Lee said. Kaho seemed furious, but she had no argument, not when Ty Lee was objectively correct.

“The History Mistress will be here soon,” Jia-Li interjected, trying to break the tension. “Let’s forget about all of this and move on.”

“Sozin’s beard, Jia-Li, nobody cares about history,” Kaho said, rolling her eyes. “Just sit in the back and keep quiet like usual.”

Jia-Li stuck her tongue out at Kaho when the other turned away, but you noticed she did not stand up for herself. Ty Lee was the only one who was brave enough to say anything, and even then, you wondered how much of it was false bravado and how much of it was genuine self-confidence.

“Good morning, class,” the History Mistress said.

“Good morning, History Mistress,” you all chorused in unison.

“Today, we will be learning about an event that occurred relatively recently, but will definitely be written down in the history books in the years to come: Prince Zuko’s defeat of Ba Sing Se,” she said.

Ba Sing Se — it was where the prince had found you. You knew that the city had, at some point, fallen to the Fire Nation, but you didn’t know what had happened or how it had happened. This was definitely a topic of some personal interest to you, and you could not help leaning forward in your seat a bit.

“I thought we might go over this, since we now have a personal connection to it in the class,” the History Mistress said. “Namely, Ursa, who was found by Prince Zuko during the invasion.”

The entire class turned to look at you as the History Mistress began to draw a diagram on the board. The weight of their gazes was a suffocating burden, but you did not afford them the privilege of seeing you crumple, for you knew that you had to, in some way, remain strong, lest they pounce upon your perceived weakness.

“During his hunt for the Avatar, Prince Zuko and his uncle, the former General Iroh, found themselves separated from their ship and amongst Earth Kingdom refugees fleeing to the capital city of Ba Sing Se.

“It seemed to be a damning sentence; after all, what place does Fire Nation royalty have in such a city? But our prince is wise and loyal. He and his uncle opened a tea shop in order to bide their time, blending in with the city and learning its secrets.

“Taking a risk, he wrote to his father, telling him he had found a way into Ba Sing Se. The Fire Lord Ozai, who has always had the utmost of faith in his son to do what must be done, sent him the Soldiers of Agni in aid, promising a larger army if the Soldiers of Agni were not enough.

“For those of you who do not recall our lesson from the beginning of the term about the military structures that Fire Lord Azulon put into place, the Soldiers of Agni are the most elite Firebenders in the nation, excepting, of course, the royal family.

“So these proud men, who were the epitome of Fire itself, donned the muddy browns and greens of the Earth Kingdom on the command of their lord and snuck into Ba Sing Se in the same way that Prince Zuko and former General Iroh had. There, they met the prince, who formed their plan of attack.

“On the agreed-upon date, the Soldiers of Agni and Prince Zuko stormed the palace, beginning by executing all of the guards who tried to fight back. The rest of the guards, knowing they were outnumbered, quickly defected, and when the former General Iroh tried to stop them, they took him prisoner for the royal family, allowing the Soldiers of Agni and Prince Zuko to continue their invasion.

“Their main goal was to get rid of everyone who lived in that palace, in which they were successful. Not even the Earth King’s pet bear was spared. He and the rest of the palace’s inhabitants were destroyed, along with an entire wing of the Earth Palace, which the Soldiers of Agni brought crumbling to the ground with their fire and their might.

“Sadly, all of the Soldiers of Agni that fought to take the Earth Palace lost their lives that day. Most of the palace staff were Earthbenders, and they fought back, outnumbering the Soldiers of Agni ten to one. The Soldiers of Agni possessed superior skills, but those were barely enough against such a large quantity of enemies.

“We cannot forget the sacrifices they made. It is through the bravery, spirit, and courage of the Soldiers of Agni that the Fire Nation finally took Ba Sing Se for good. Even in a confrontation where they were at such an enormous disadvantage, the Soldiers of Agni kept fighting for their country, their home, and for the Fire Lord, eventually emerging victorious, though they were unable to enjoy the fruits of their victory. We must always follow this example of duty and selflessness, ever asking ourselves what we, too, can give up for the welfare of the Fire Nation.”

After her long-winded explanation, the History Mistress exhaled, wiping away a tear from the corner of her left eye and then holding her hands to her heart. You all had a quiet moment, presumably in honor of the Soldiers of Agni, and then, tentatively, Jia-Li raised her hand.

“History Mistress, what does all of that have to do with Ursa?” she said.

“That’s something you should ask her, not me,” the History Mistress said, motioning towards you. “Go on, Ursa. Tell us what part you played in this entire tale.”

You gulped. “To be frank, I don’t remember myself what my role was, but I’ve been filled in by Mai and Prince Zuko. Apparently, I was a Fire Nation soldier on the front lines, but at some point, I was taken prisoner by the Earth Kingdom. They were torturing me in Ba Sing Se for Fire Nation secrets. After invading the city, Prince Zuko found me, and he brought me to the palace to be healed. It was there that I woke up without any memories.”

“You were a soldier?” Kaho said, without even raising her hand. She scoffed. “You look entirely too soft to ever have been fighting on the front lines.”

“Kaho, she was in jail for who knows how long,” Jia-Li said softly. “Of course she’s not in fighting shape anymore. Especially if they were torturing her…poor Ursa. You’re so brave for not giving in.”

“That’s right,” the History Mistress said. “We must all endeavor to be like Ursa, as well, who after all of her ordeals is still set upon nothing but improving herself for her country. She truly is the example of what a Fire Nation citizen should be like. Now, let us thank her for sharing her story.”

“Thank you, Ursa,” everyone said. You sat on your hands and hated every second of it. You didn’t like the attention being called to you once again. You just wanted to fade into the background and be forgotten, but more and more, it seemed like that was impossible.

“The topic of prisoners is a great segue into what we’re going to be talking about in today’s lesson. Who can name one historical Fire Nation figure that was also kept in captivity by the Earth Kingdom?” the History Mistress said.

To no one’s surprise, it was Kaho volunteering once more, but this time, she was unchallenged, as you focused all of your energy on writing notes about the material. After all, you didn’t know any of this, and you figured it was likely important that you pick up such things, considering the entirely blank slate that was your mind at present.

The academy’s aviary was only a short walk from the dormitories, and you found yourself frequenting the path already, both because of your correspondence with Prince Zuko and because Bian was one of the few beings that you could say without question was your friend.

“I don’t understand why they already have decided that I am so worthless,” you sniffed, finally allowing yourself to cry in the solitude of the aviary.

Bian tilted her head at you, nudging you with her cold beak. You wiped away your tears before scratching her on her feathery chest.

“I don’t even know half of their names,” you said. “Yet they are convinced that I am someone less than them. Someone worthless. They think of me as waste, Bian — a rubbish girl who does not deserve to be their peer.”

Of course, your messenger hawk was not intimately acquainted with the subtleties of such politics and divisions, but for the moment, it seemed as if she understood, as she let out a low, rumbling coo. It was the most comfort you could dream of, and you bit your lip to prevent a sob from falling past your lips.

“Maybe it’s true,” you said. “You can decorate trash all you want. At the end of the day, you can’t change what it is. Maybe I don’t belong here. I don’t know what Prince Zuko was thinking, sending me to study with these girls.”

Bian nipped your sleeve, almost like a reprimand. You gave her a warning look, reminding her to keep her beak to herself, but all you earned in response was indifference — your reward for thinking a bird could read your expressions and would care about them, even if she could.

“And for some reason, Kaho has a personal vendetta against me,” you said. “I can’t think of anything I’ve done to deserve it. Is it because I corrected her during our etiquette class? But she hated me even before that.”

Jia-Li had mentioned something about Kaho envying you for your closeness with the royal family, but it wasn’t as if you had chosen that. You hadn’t chosen to be saved by Prince Zuko. You hadn’t chosen to lose your memories. You hadn’t chosen to live like this. None of it was in your control, so why did she blame you for it all?

“I just wish I knew who I was,” you said. “Things would be easier if I knew there was someone who loved me. Someone who was waiting for me to come back. If I was a Fire Nation soldier, then my family — they might be nearby, right? I should…I should be trying to find them, not studying at this school!”

You could feel the judgment rolling off of Bian in waves, which was ridiculous, because she was after all just a messenger hawk and was incapable of judging anyone. Still, if she were a person, you fancied she would be judging you at the moment, and your shoulders slumped as you realized how ridiculous you sounded.

“I’m in a position that many greatly desire, and here I am, complaining. I am in an elite institution, my tutelage sponsored by a prince who is only all-too-eager to help me with whatever I need. It is silly that I am so upset, it’s just that — it’s just that I feel like some part of me is missing. Like I lost who I am when I lost my memories, and not just in the sense of my identity. It was something physical. There is something more to me that is out of my grasp, and no matter how hard I try, I cannot reach it,” you said, extending your hand and closing your fist around empty air.

As per usual, there was nothing. It was a futile exercise. No matter how many times you did it, the result would be the same. You would not be able to find that part of you again, not for some time.

“Who am I, really?” you said to Bian. “That’s what I want to know. Who was Ursa? Who were my parents? Did I have siblings? What about friends? What did I do for fun? I don’t know any of it. I feel like I will only be happy again if I can find out. Even if it’s terrible. Even if it means reliving the torture that the Earth Kingdom put me through. I just want to remember.”

But try as you might, there was still nothing. You still had no idea who you were. Although you had had a full day of instruction at the academy, you were in no better of a position than you had been on the day you started.

Ursa,

You really can just call me Zuko. You don’t have to refer to me as the prince, unless you are completely more comfortable with that. Though it is true that I am your benefactor, I am not someone you should defer to. If you can bring yourself to do it, then I should like if you actually think of me as your friend. I would like to consider you mine, and so I will speak to you as if you are until you tell me otherwise.

I’d expect that none of the girls at the academy can claim that the prince of the Fire Nation is offering them friendship, and will be on their side even if they should reject that offer! Anyways, I have no doubt that you will be able to solve any issues that come your way, but sometimes, it is nice to have support. I want to be that for you. Even if it is not me, I hope there is someone at the academy who you can turn to for that.

It is a relief to hear that your roommate is someone likable. I asked Mai about Jia-Li; though she had nothing favorable to say, there was also nothing unfavorable, which is almost more of a compliment, coming from her. It’s good to know that you do not have to sleep beside someone you detest.

And speaking of, I am angered to hear that they have been treating you that way. Please remember that you are worth ten of them in my eyes. You only need to say the word, and I will have them spoken to harshly. Especially that Kaho, who has always been the horrid type (Mai was a little more explicit in her description, but I will spare you the specifics. Just imagine the most obscene expletives you can think of, and then imagine something even worse — that is probably in the range of what she was saying about her). Do not let her get you down; she is a spoiled, sheltered girl whose father is an Admiral and allows her to get away with doing whatever she wants because of his high status in the military. If you stand up to her, then I am sure she will back down. People like that usually do.

Yes, Bian was supposed to be my hawk, but I already have one and have no need for another, so she would’ve just sat in the aviary once I received her. It is for her own good that I gave her to you. If you do not like such an extravagant creature being yours alone, then you may imagine that you are borrowing her from me for the time being (though I will not accept her return — I think that she is attached to you now).

She is an exemplary bird, is she not? The falconer was very proud of her when she hatched. Although, I don’t know if anyone else would agree that she possesses a gentle heart; it’s not something typically said about messenger hawks, which are frequently ill-tempered. It is further proof that she is fond of you and was always meant to be yours, no matter whose name she was hatched in.

My own life has been dreadfully boring as of late. Meeting after meeting after meeting…it is definitely busy, being the prince of the Fire Nation. It’s like everyone wants to talk to me suddenly! But I’m not complaining. I much prefer being home to living on a ship and constantly wondering when I can go back, even if I had considerably more free time back then. 

I cannot think of anything else to write to you about, but I do not wish to stop quite yet, because once I am done with this letter, I will have to attend to some paperwork that I have been putting off. 

It has been sunny recently. The cooks made my favorite meal yesterday. Mai has been moping a lot more than usual (I think she misses Ty Lee). I gave bread to the turtleducks in the pond, and it seemed to cheer their spirits. My father allows me to sit at his right side for meetings nowadays, though as always, Azula is at his left. 

That’s about it. I guess that, as the heir to the throne, I should not keep procrastinating. It’s not very princely of me. 

Yours, Zuko

P.S. Once again, I am sorry to hear that. 

P.P.S. Please keep writing to me frequently, and with as many boring details as you care to include. I like hearing from you will take any excuse to not fill out these ridiculously tedious forms.

[spoiler-alert-andabunchofnumbers]

Okay I read unofficial translations but of course I bought the official translation of Thousand Autumns and I just gotta say - does anyone else think Yan Wushi’s entire battle with Hulugu was a setup?

No, not like he was faking the duel and set something up with Hulugu. I mean he KNEW he could defeat Hulugu and the only question was how badly he’d be hurt in the process. Like if he’d be walking it off or if he’d actually collapse. Even that, he had a pretty good idea of how it would end.

Because rereading the whole series, once he becomes determined to win over Shen Qiao, Yan Wushi’s already confusing personality becomes even more misleading now that he knows he’s teasing Shen Qiao into the inevitable. We’re stuck primarily in Shen Qiao’s mind, and whenever we get a glimpse of Yan Wushi’s mind, it’s almost always to say "He was saying this, but actually he felt this and was having so much fun seeing Shen Qiao be so easily tricked." Once you’ve reread his actions multiple times over, you realize...like, he knew.

He knew he would beat Hulugu. Whether it was because of the power of love or just because of his own arrogance, he never went into the battle thinking he might lose. Any and all of his suggestions that he might actually die were for Shen Qiao’s sake, to taunt the man into realizing that he was worried about Yan Wushi - to actually admit he didn’t want Yan Wushi to die.

He joked about making bets only when he didn’t know the outcome because that was the only way things were fun, which may have had some truth to it, but then he also set up the massive betting pool to not be in his favor so that when he DID win, he ended up getting a massive payout. Like we call that illegal in our modern day, like manipulating the stock market.

Yan Wushi has been a terrible pessimist and misanthrope since he was very young. He has never trusted anyone (until Shen Qiao) to ever do something honorable or noble when they thought they could control him. Therefore, Yan Wushi very rarely EVER goes into anything without knowing his odds and his escape plan even when if he does fail (see the epilogue story "The Past" for an example). I think the only time he really bet his life was the 5-1 fight where he genuinely didn’t think Shen Qiao would survive his betrayal, let alone rush to his side to save his life.

Compared to that, even against Hulugu? Pfft, it sounds like he's just playing with Shen Qiao from the very beginning.

He announced his challenge when Shen Qiao went to Xuandu Mountain - implying it's for Shen Qiao’s sake, tugging at his heartstrings.

He tells or lies to Bian Yanmei to convince Shen Qiao that the flaws in his demonic core haven’t healed and his battle against Xueting weakened him. Oh no! Now Shen Qiao is even more worried! (Shen Qiao can’t tell just by taking his pulse alone, mystery, is he really okay???)

This also makes us all completely gloss over the fact that both Yan Wushi and Shen Qiao had gained access to the final volume of the Zhuyang Strategy thanks to Xueting’s defeat - if we count them battling one another as exchanging the volumes they never see in person. The Zhuyang Strategy. You remember that thing? That thing whose true qi kept Shen Qiao alive after getting poisoned and beaten to near-death on numerous occasions? Just that thing, no biggie.

Yan Wushi denies both of the former points and says "No I challenged him for my own amusement actually, it has nothing to do with you, and also Bian Yanmei doesn’t know what he’s ralking about I’m fiiiine see?", but Shen Qiao thinks he’s downplaying or lying to spare his feelings - something Shen Qiao would believe he’d do only if he believed for a second that Yan Wushi DOES in fact care about him.

He takes Shen Qiao out gambling to further emphasize that he enjoys leaving things to fate (making us *Shen Qiao* forget the fact that he’s a meticulous planner and intelligent strategist who puts the odds in his favor and always gets what he wants even when he loses). Funny detail that Shen Qiao was (unintentionally or not) rigging the game so that he won, because his natural personality likes having control over things even if his entire journey losing his power demonstrated that he’s very competent at just dealing with misfortune without overreacting. Though they believe different things, the two really are cut from the same stubborn cloth.

Yan Wushi also makes Shen Qiao see the gambling dens where people are betting against Yan Wushi, thanks in part to a certain Yi Pichen’s comments on the matter. Shen Qiao is NOT having feelings or anything, what are you talking about, he’s not worried about this guy he absolutely does not feel attracted to, but uh...those people don’t know you well enough to place their bets correctly, am I right?

Yan Wushi KOs Shen Qiao to make him miss most of the fight to terrify Shen Qiao into thinking he might MISS Yan Wushi’s potential death match, oh no! Come on, I don’t believe Yan Wushi wasn’t skilled enough to have precisely sealed his sleep accupoint or whatever so that Shen Qiao has JUST enough time to catch him near the end of the duel.

Yan Wushi was definitely injured by Hulugu, there’s no denying it. Even when he fights other powerful characters, he’s not a Mary Sue, he still does take damage and admits that he has to push himself to actually kill other grandmasters like Yuan Xiuxiu. However, after the battle with the 5 guys, Yan Wushi absolutely knew his odds and how much it actually takes to crack his skull open. He also knows that Shen Qiao has seen him nearly dead before and will absolutely be using that to freak him out further and convince Shen Qiao he might actually be dead.

He probably DID need Shen Qiao’s medicinal pills to help him, but Yan Wushi was basically guaranteed to have survived and just waiting for Shen Qiao to say he’d "Do anything" before he woke up again. Like does that not sound like a Yan Wushi thing to do? I’m half convinced he stopped his own heart and breathing with a technique (there’s a turtle-breathing technique in the Donghua, something like that to fake it for JUST long enough for Shen Qiao to freak out) or was planning to do so if Hulugu didn’t manage to fuck him up enough for it to be convincing.

The fact that he’s still able to joke around kissing Shen Qiao then loudly complaining about how much pain he’s in automatically tells us he’s not doing as bad as when his head got cracked open. He’s fiiiine.

Then we get the gambling reveal where Huanyue Sect made a few casinos go bankrupt and he sends a fifth of it to Yi Pichen and the Chunyang Monastery as a thanks for essentially rigging the bets.

Yan Wushi tells Yu Shengyan that Shen Qiao already loves him, he’s just too prideful to admit it, and then later sets up the whole scenario in the epilogues - YES IT'S ALL A SET UP - just to get Shen Qiao to have the courage to confess.

In conclusion, Yan Wushi knew what the fuck he was doing, he fought Hulugu primarily to fuck with Shen Qiao and just also happening to get some other things out of it too on the side. Ya boi wanted to force Shen Qiao to realize how much he cares about Yan Wushi in return. And kill a bitch while earning some street cred, but that’s beside the point.

I had no pictures to add for this rant, maybe I’ll add them later, it’s 2am thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[xionghyouka]

Impressions on 代號鳶 so far (with spoilers)

Or, Ashes of the Kingdom as some may know it. Spoilers ahead up to chapter 8, turn back if you haven't gone so far.

As far as the bachelors and playable characters go, I like them, but the devs seriously needs to do something about their game balance because every boss battle past chapter 6 is a major cockblock that a goldfish like me has to invest a few weeks of trying to raise who I THINK is the right character to overcome the boss. (Based on my estimations, I think even dolphins would have a hard time because resources are so scarce and capped even when the player spends money to get more. LMAO)

That being said, I do like the game so far. The bachelors, well, everyone started out quite equal for me, but post chapter 6, everyone's been assigned a clear ranking.

Liu Bian

Bottom of the ranking, despite being the first to appear. His looks were quite nice (we don't get wavy-haired dudes everyday, yanno?), though I'm not into the whole childhood friends thing. After the shock of his 'death', he reappeared in Ch 6......and did nothing but cause trouble, throw tantrums and gaslight the MC. You reappear as a CULT LEADER whose members have done nothing but cause trouble and harm the MC, and you have the balls to blame her for feeling suspicious about you?? "If it were me, I would embrace you and believe you even if the whole world is against you." But she is NOT you, she has the nation and common people in her eyes, and in the meanwhile, you've been lying and concealing matters.

Even if you both are childhood friends of many years, MC is not obliged to blindly trust you. You both are descendants of the imperial clan; it should be ingrained in your bones that you cannot easily trust anyone, and Liu Bian, you fucked up real good. While there may be some leeway in understanding his character because being raised by another cult leader in his youth has probably caused a LOT of TRAUMA, it does not excuse the gaslighting. Dude has attachment issues and needs therapy, not a girlfriend. I also ranked him lowest because he has the weakest link to the MC at this point, he has nothing going for him other than the fact that he's her childhood friend.

Fu Rong

Guy who appeared next, and ranked third for me, quite close to second. On looks alone, he ranks second, not to mention he has risked his life to protect MC time and again. He was dangerously close to first; what's not to like? Her right-hand man, handsome, skilled, can tame birds and dogs, maybe he's super poor and cheapskate but it's okay, she holds his purse strings (his salary). And then the in-game missions and rumours had to drop lore that pretty much 80% points out Fu Rong is very likely the young master of Li Ba Hua, a nemesis organisation, and that he infiltrated Xiuyilou. His real identity is possibly Sima Yi, which in the political scheme of things, is another can of worms.

This means Fu Rong cannot be 100% trusted, but flirting with this danger is an attractive idea. Not sure where the game intends to go with him, so he gets 3rd place for now. Looking forward to the day MC discovers his identity! Though in some missions of rumour investigation, it seems like she already has a faint suspicion of Fu Rong's true identity...?

Yuan Ji

Warring States history has taught us not to believe those surnamed Yuan Jokes aside, he REALLY cannot be trusted. Ranked 4th not because I dislike him, we just don't vibe. A gentleman's friendship is fine and all between a minister and a member of the imperial clan, but there is no lows Yuan Ji will not go to in his political or military schemes (The way he tried to act innocent in Ch 8 LMAO ALMOST had me convinced IF I DIDN'T HAVE XU YOU). There has been no direct indication that he is involved, if at all, in the power struggle. But the Yuans are big on nepotism (we saw how that turned out in history LMAO); with Yuan Ji being the eldest son, and hints from Yuan Shu's or Xu You's conversations, it is more than enough to deduce that he contributes the most brains to the clan. But who doesn't like a schemer? I do, it's just unfortunate that he acts like such a green tea (he's been rumoured in-game to LITERALLY bath in tea for the nice scent, my god), I can't take him seriously 😂 I'm reminded of those scheming 2nd female leads you see in manhuas/manhwas whenever I see him, I just can't stop laughing.

I can't feel any romantic vibes hence his 4th place, but I did feel a masochistic vibe coming from him in Ch 8 ASDFGHJKL (gouging his eyeballs out? Ooh MC, I really like the sound of that 😈). Being offered the position of his wife so that MC can step aside as an obstacle and enjoy unrivalled glory as the future mistress of the Yuan Clan however? (Although this is just very likely Yuan Ji testing MC's resolve and trying to sound her out to see if she's someone he can scheme with) 🙄 Please, my gurl has GOALS and she doesn't need to marry to achieve them.

Zuo Ci

2nd place, believe in shifu and you shall be saved. I have surprisingly nothing much to comment on MC's shifu, other than the fact that I am weak for white-haired beauties and shifu's always got MC's back, and would never betray her, although he is also a hermit, so he would never get involved in the affairs of the mundane world, unless it involves their nemesis organisation Li Ba Hua. But shifu also dotes on MC and assists Xiuyilou as Xiuyilou has the same roots with Yinyuan Pavilion, the sect that Zuo Ci leads, so he considers it a branch of Yinyuan Pavilion and would pay attention to it.

Sun Ce

The immovable number 1 despite appearing last in the main story. I'm typically not into short-haired guys in ancient China settings (one of the reasons I like this era is because almost every guy out there has long hair, okay? XD), but somehow, he wriggled into my heart. His first appearance is super cute, dumbstruck in love at first sight, who could resist such cuteness after he looked so fierce? XD He's known as the 'Little Tyrant' but when he's faced with the MC (initially in disguise as Da Qiao), he turns all soft and silly. A guy so lovestruck and not afraid of showing it? He's a keeper. Earlier in the game, fans were guarded against him despite his frank personality because jealous little brother (jealous of who, I shall not comment😌) mentioned in his character story that Sun Ce can step over MC's dead body if she gets in his way no matter how much he likes her. In Ch 8 however, Sun Quan is forced to wear his 🤡 wig because after Sun Ce discovered that MC was actually Da Qiao, despite the fact that MC did deceive him (since she went undercover around his residence as Da Qiao), Sun Ce does not question her intentions, instead instantly deciding to side with her instead.

Some may think he's brainless or a fool in love for deciding without consulting his strategists, but let's not forget Sun Ce is known as the Little Tyrant. If he can choose to leave his liege behind and ally with MC instead, that means he has confidence in his ability to tide over the impending difficulties entailing his decision (not to mention it is canon that Sun Ce eventually leaves his lord, though not for the reasons he does in this game XD). In a world where friends today become tomorrow's enemies, Sun Ce's blinding sincerity is a rare gem to see. Personally, I also like how amongst the 5 men, Sun Ce's gallery is the only one we see with group chibis of his friends, subordinates and family as well (Though this is because every other guy is literally without family except Yuan Ji but we don't talk about going into a nest of snakes ASDFGHJKL), which makes me, as a player, feel like Sun Ce lets MC into his world unabashedly. In other characters' stories, you can also see how MC and Sun Ce complements each other's wits and cruelty, being good allies as they scheme together, and it's great to see Sun Ce helping take command of MC's army in one of his mini-events. Now this is a guy I can see MC standing shoulder-to-shoulder with, fighting together to stabilise the nation! (And, if I have Zhou Yu's character story accurately interpreted, this should be the canonical ingame history)

TLDR World hard and cold, Sun Ce's bazookas soft and warm

[aishangotome]

Chapter 12: A Multitude of Distinguished Guests (珠履三千) Part 2

Chapter 12 Part 1

♡———♡

Liu Bian: Put me down…

You: No! You… run… too slowly…

Liu Bian: I can turn into a cat, you know.

You: .....

You: If you could turn into a cat, why didn't you just slip out of the prison cell in the first place?!

Liu Bian: Because… because it was the will of Heaven! Heaven said that I would wait for the Prince of Guangling in the prison!

You: Shhh. Someone's there.

-

Liu Bian: ……How far have we run? Are they still following us?

Chan: ..............No. The sound of footsteps is still following… They're coming. Two sets of footsteps. Lord, are you alright?

You: ……I'm fine. Keep going.

Man's Voice: Your Highness looks very tired. Do you need wound medicine?

A warm voice came from the side. Under the moonlight, Liu Bei's figure emerged from the deep forest.

....A-Chan is looking to the left. The You Province soldiers must be lying in ambush there…

Liu Bei: Your Highness, please don't be nervous. I've come to… whoa! …Excuse me, I tripped.

Liu Bei: I've come to welcome the Master. It's too dangerous for Master Ling to travel at such a late hour.

You: Do you believe in the Way of the Five Pecks of Rice?

Liu Bei: The common people all believe in this way, and I believe in what the common people believe in.

Liu Bei: Master, come over here. If you don't come over, you will die as a martyr for the Prince of Guangling.

In the next moment, a tall figure in green robes, as imposing as a mountain, burst out of the darkness, his long saber slashing down towards us like a green dragon—

A-Chan shielded me and dodged the blade, but the wind of the strike grazed her upper arm.

Chan: So fast… Even though I heard it, I couldn't dodge it.

This person is… Liu Bei's lieutenant general, Guan Yu.

You: Do you want to kill me? Because I'm a fugitive?

Liu Bei: Because I want to protect the common people.

Liu Bian: Liu Bei, are you crazy? You're not allowed to kill… her…

Guan Yu knocked him unconscious.

You: ……Why? Isn't he your Master?

Liu Bei: What we believe in is the Way that the common people believe in, not a single Master.

Liu Bei: This Way, whether it's called the Way of the Five Pecks of Rice or the Way of the Eight Pecks of Rice, doesn't matter. Whatever can preserve the common people, Liu Xuande will believe in it.

You: The Way you believe in requires you to kill this king?

Liu Bei: Your Highness and Tao Qian are at odds. In the ensuing conflict, Pengcheng and Guangling will inevitably face a fierce battle.

Liu Bei: With internal strife in Xu Province, Yuan Shao and Cao Cao will definitely seize the opportunity to invade, making this battle extremely brutal. Your Highness's death can avoid internal strife, which is equivalent to saving hundreds of thousands of lives.

You: If there's no internal strife in Xu Province, foreign enemies won't invade Xu Province?

Liu Bei: They still will, but at least we can save the people who would have died in the internal strife.

Liu Bei: As long as I can save as many people as possible, I, Liu Bei, am willing to do anything and bear any accusation.

You: …I understand your Way.

Tonight, a life-and-death struggle is inevitable.

.

.

.

.

.

Chapter 12 Part 3

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[motguernesiais]

22/01/2025

Vite adj. & adv. [vit] "Quick(ly), fast"

Tcheurs vite daönc; n'y'a pas d'faire d'arrêtaïr! - Run quickly then; there's no need to wait! À bian vite! - See you soon!

[halfeaten-mantou]

🧁 old-fashioned YanShen cupcake | Chapter 6/10 | ao3

They were going to visit an island together. Unfortunately, their plans are thwarted, and Yan Wushi falls. Shen Qiao falls even harder.

(Continue reading here or under the cut!)

"Never thought you'd suggest an island, of all, places, A-Qiao," Wushi smiles. "How refreshing."

A kind smile dawns, also refreshingly, on Shen Qiao's gentle countenance. "It's another one of those ‘schoolboy things’ I’ve been planning to suggest all along. I do think it'll be a refreshing experience indeed, to get out there, assimilate the earth, absorb the atmosphere, and become one with nature."

Wushi chuckles softly. Truth is, of all people to ever have waxed and waned these sorts of 'zen' lyrical to him in his life, only Shen Qiao has gotten away with not receiving his snarky teasing remarks.

As they walk towards the ferry terminal, something unexpected happens—it's a motorcycle.

While motorcycles aren't at all uncommon in China, the thing about this motorcycle is that they're currently aiming for Shen Qiao.

Something about this situation feels strangely familiar.

Uncanny feeling of déjà vu aside, Yan Wushi has quick reflexes, so he lunges forward and pushes Shen Qiao away to the side in a quick forward movement, but this time, someone does get injured in the midst.

"Mr Yan...!?" Shen Qiao almost shouts, panicking, momentarily caught between chasing the motorcycle now absconding away from the scene, and bending down to help the older man lying on the floor. "Are you—alright—"

In pain, he hisses through his teeth, but thank goodness, is what goes through Yan Wushi's head. He heaves a sigh of relief—he doesn't think his old heart would have taken it well if Shen Qiao had taken the hit instead.

------------------------------------------------------------------

"Never expected our reunion location to be at the hospital, of all places, Boss," Bian Yanmei shakes his head. "Really should have booked my flight earlier—maybe then I'd have been able to protect you and prevent this. What on earth happened?"

Yanmei's gaze lands on Shen Qiao—in fact, Yanmei has already gotten wind of what had happened earlier the day before, thanks to Yu Shengyan's report. He is not pleased—least of all at the new subordinate who hadn't been able to protect his mentor.

"I'm sorry. It was my fau—" Shen Qiao starts to speak, but he does not get to complete his sentence, because Yan Wushi completes it for him, in his own way.

"—Come on, Yanmei. It's only been two years since we'd last met—has England fried your brain? Don’t tell me you’ve already forgotten just how old your old boss is now?" Wushi smirks. "My bones are now creaky, so I naturally couldn’t dodge in time.”

Yanmei is almost completely speechless. In his head, he's also trying to make sense of two strange things noticeable about his boss:

Did he just, firstly, defend an intern, and secondly, make fun of himself?

"...anyway, thank goodness it was minor, and just your leg." Yanmei sighs. "You really are getting on your years, aren't you, Boss..."

The physiologist enters the room—it's Wushi's turn to do stretching exercises.

------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ow," Yan Wushi grits his teeth as the physiologist tries to massage his leg.  

Never thought an inflamed tendon could feel this horrible—he can't even move his toes. (If he may wonder so himself...what exactly happened to the Yan Wushi who'd broken all four limbs before, only to lackadaisically shrug it off using whatever functional muscle he'd had remaining in his shoulders?)

"Please let me handle it, doctor." Shen Qiao tells the physiologist, seemingly stopping him from proceeding to torture Yan Wushi further.

"O-okay," Said physiologist is suddenly transfixed on Shen Qiao's face, almost dropping Yan Wushi's leg in shock. Luckily, Shen Qiao catches the leg in time.

"OW," Yan Wushi almost bites his tongue as Shen Qiao massages his leg. "What the heck are you doing to my poor leg, A-Qiao?!"

"If you stretch like this, you'll only superficially stretch the tendon," is Shen Qiao's calm response. "However, if you apply pressure on this spot, you will be able to release the tension deep within the myofascial tissues surrounding the muscles. After a few seconds, you will feel a lot better."

After a bit more massaging accompanied by Yan Wushi's screaming, Shen Qiao puts Wushi's leg back on the bed. "Try moving again and see if it feels better, Mr Yan."

Wushi waggles his toes and this time, he actually succeeds.

"Whoa, that was magical, Dr Shen," Wushi grins. "Never knew you had it in you to be a physiologist."

"I'm definitely not a physiologist," Shen Qiao responds without missing a beat, humble as usual. "All I did was take a short course during my postgraduate years alongside my main training."

Meanwhile, Bian Yanmei looks questioningly at Yu Shengyan, before looking at Shen Qiao again, and back.

"I thought you said he was just an intern?" Bian Yanmei frowns, confused. "Are you sure he's not actually Boss's new personal doctor?"

"Nah, he really is an intern—to be more precise, our company's newest 'Ace Intern'. Just ask Ruru and you'll know I'm not lying," is Shengyan's deadpan response. "You're kind of right in that he is like his personal doctor, though, because Boss actually does call him 'my Dr Shen' from time to time. Plus, he really does hold a PhD."

Bian Yanmei doesn't know what to say, but he figures he doesn't have to say anything—he's just relieved his boss is now in good hands.

------------------------------------------------------------------

It's Saturday—exactly one week since the day of Yan Wushi's assault—and Yan Wushi finds himself stuck in his bedroom.

Two days ago, the physiologist and bone specialist at the hospital, both marveling at just the fifty-year-old's astounding recovery speed, had put him on crutches and discharged him an entire month early. When Yu Shengyan had offered, in genuine good intention, to hire him a household helper to take care of him, all Wushi did was smack poor Shengyan on the head, saying that he "might be old but not that old yet, you harebrained doofus".

It's been two days since Wushi has been resting on his bed at home, getting up only to use the toilet or get water. He didn't have to cook for himself, thanks to delivery. He didn't even have to work, thanks to Bian Yanmei taking over his position temporarily at the office.

Life has become exceedingly easy, and Yan Wushi has become best friends with his bed.

And he has never been this bored out of his mind.

Not that he regrets his decision one bit. Because had Shen Qiao taken the fall for him instead, he reckons he'd probably have it way worse—after all, a broken heart is way harder to mend than a broken leg. And, interestingly, it is in fact this realisation which is currently worrying Yan Wushi the most—

Just how much has this person changed me?

He'd never envisioned the day would come when he'd try to save a person other than himself, at his own expense, without regretting it one bit. And he'd known, ever since the first day at the hospital, that saving him was worth every bit—watching Shen Qiao tenderly tend to his injury, give him a leg massage, peel him oranges, ask gently if he was alright, read him the news in that gentle, gentle voice of his—

It was, and still is worth every bit.

In the evening, Yan Wushi starts getting slightly hungry. As he prepares the delivery application on his phone, the doorbell rings, jolting him from his internal reflection over the events of the week. Unable to tend to the visitor physically, he picks up the phone and listens to the visitor's voice over the intercom:

"Mr Yan, good evening. I'm here to carry out our Saturday youth meetup, and to take care of you."

It's Shen Qiao—Shen Qiao and his gentle, gentle voice.

Yan Wushi is suddenly rejuvenated, all boredom and languidness draining from his body. 

The broken leg was, and still is worth every single bit.

------------------------------------------------------------------

"Never thought you'd come knocking on my door, A-Qiao," Wushi smiles. "How refreshing."

A kind smile dawns, also refreshingly, on Shen Qiao's gentle countenance. "It's only my duty. After all, I'm getting overpaid for working a job this easy. Even if it isn't part of the contract to hold the meeting indoors in the boss's house."

Wushi chuckles softly. Truth is, he's feeling pretty nervous about the entire situation—

He'd never thought he'd see Shen Qiao set foot in his house this soon.

------------------------------------------------------------------

“Mr Yan, I wish to ask you something.”

"What is it, A-Qiao?" Shen Qiao’s expression is serious, and Wushi hopes it isn't anything about his silly, smitten heart—had he been too obvious?

"Why did you protect me from the motorcycle? I was so worried and frightened when you'd gotten hurt thanks to saving me," Shen Qiao looks so remorse and sullen that Wushi's heart would have been sinking any other day, but given the contents of his sentence put in context, Wushi's heart is singing.

Wushi chuckles softly.

“I'd just thought that I'd much rather have my leg broken over getting my heart broken. That's all.”

Shen Qiao frowns, confused for a moment, before seeming to give up figuring out what he’d meant, and continuing his questions.

“Then why did you defend me at the hospital, and prevent me from telling Mr Bian the truth about me not being able to protect you?”

Wushi smiles—it may be silly of this small and weak-looking guy to think he could protect him, but the sentiment is much appreciated—in fact, it's making Yan Wushi’s stomach do happy backflips.

"I didn’t protect you," is Wushi's reply. "All I did was tell him the truth—I’m an old man, unable to take care of myself. And this old man here is hungry now.”

"I'll cook you something," is Shen Qiao's immediate response, and Yan Wushi's stomach jumps with joy.

------------------------------------------------------------------

It was lucky that Shen Qiao had the foresight to procure ingredients from the supermarket on the way to his boss's house, because eggs were the only food items he'd had in his house. Nonetheless, the eggs did come into handy—it was only after arriving there that Shen Qiao had remembered just how much Wushi had enjoyed the scrambled egg tomato sandwiches on the mountain, so he hadn't initially planned to buy any eggs. Thanks to this small stroke of fate, he'd managed in the end to make the same tomato-egg combination into a noodle dish apt for a Saturday night dinner, Wushi's kitchen contributing the eggs, and him contributing the tomatoes—two ingredients that anyone rarely, if ever, would guess meld this well on first sight.

And it was lucky he did, because his boss had finished them ravenously, asking for seconds. Three bowls and a little red wine later, Yan Wushi is sprawled on the coffee table, fast asleep.

Just the sight alone is enough to make Shen Qiao's heart ache in equal parts endearment and regret.

His boss had seemed nothing short of endearingly happy tonight—though, in truth, his boss had, oddly enough, been happy the entire time he'd gotten injured on his behalf, saying things such as, 'I have zero regrets'; 'It was all worth it'; 'I'd much rather have my leg broken over getting my heart broken'…

Shen Qiao really wonders what he'd meant by that last one. He wonders if it referred to a sensation akin to the dull ache he'd been feeling recently in the centre of his chest whenever he does so much as to look at Yan Wushi grimace; to witness winces of pain reflect uncharacteristically on his typically-unfazed countenance; to hear the soft but audible hisses of pain emerge through his gritted teeth...

And through it all, whenever Shen Qiao does so much as to frown or to utter small words of worry, Wushi would only smile and grin and say things such as it is worth it.

Shen Qiao wonders if he really is worth this, and all of the other kindnesses he'd never remotely expected to receive.

The man sprawled asleep snores softly, and Shen Qiao does not have the heart to wake him, so he decides to drag him gently to the bed. He tries moving him, but he doesn’t budge an inch. Shen Qiao decides that the bed might be a little too challenging as a destination goal, and aims for the sofa instead, but eventually, he gives up, not wishing to exert too much brute force and waking his boss instead.

Seems like their size difference really is larger than expected. Despite this, Yan Wushi has lost weight, his face visibly sunken relative to the state they'd been in just a week ago. Shen Qiao sighs, feeling as if someone had made lemonade of his heart.

All he can do now is to take better care of him from here on out. For the night, this means letting him have the best night's rest he can...despite the fact that he's unfortunately stuck at the table for a while.

Gently lifting Yan Wushi's sleepy head, Shen Qiao applies some force into his arms, manoeuvring them as gently as he can to lift Yan Wushi's sleepy head. All of a sudden, Shen Qiao feels as if struck by a mysterious magnetic force in that instant, and as he places a pillow below his head, he somehow also places his lips on the left side of his face; a momentary but deliberate move.

Pulling back, he realises he's just done the exact same thing he'd said he'd asked Yan Wushi to refrain from doing—to overstep personal physical boundaries.

As he leaves the house, a wretched feeling of remorse and shame washes over him; yet, strangely and unbeknownst to him, other sorts of feelings were rising in some cursed, clandestine corner in his gut—

A hidden feeling that he'd just fulfilled some sort of hidden personal wish; a little feeling akin to having a little less space in the space in between his lungs.

------------------------------------------------------------------

In his dreams, Yan Wushi thinks that he must have had a drop too much to drink, because he's hallucinating a fresh but familiar fragrance of lavender-scented shampoo accompanying a palpable but sweet, soft pressure on his left cheek, and it's all making him think, in his dreams:

What a sweet, sweet dream this is.

>>>>> Continue to Chapter 7: tumblr | ao3 >>>>>>>

[urfavisacompulsiveliar]

Jack from History 3: Trapped is a compulsive liar 🖤

[image id: Andy Bian as Jack in episode 20 of History 3: Trapped, with dark red hair, brown eyes, and a black leather jacket over a white button up.]

Episode 20 inspired this headcanon. Jack admitting that he's lied, but not with the intention of using Zhao-zi. And seeing the outcome gave me hope.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

── THE GLASS PRINCESS // SEVENTEEN

Series Synopsis: You wake up in a strange room with no memories, broken glass at your bedside, and a prince named Zuko as your only chance at figuring out who you really are.

Chapter Synopsis: Now that you have regained your memories, you and Bian must set off in search of allies.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Zuko x Reader

Chapter Word Count: 5.6k

Content Warnings: complicated relationships (strangers to friends to lovers to enemies to strangers to lovers to enemies to lovers), amnesia, alternate universe, lots of secrets and lying and mystery

A/N: hey…how y’all doing…sorry this chapter is so blech it’s a little transition thing so that the next arc can finally start in full LMAO i don’t really like it but it does what it has to

You threw the book away from you, earning a surprised squawk from Bian. She flapped her wings and drew back, the feathers of her crest standing on end in an attempt to look intimidating before smoothing down as she realized there was no imminent threat. Then, she cocked her head at you, cooing in confusion.

“That half-witted, self-involved, traitorous excuse for a person!” you said to her. “That — that — well, he is lucky I’ve only realized who I am now that I have already run away, or else I’d march to the palace and kill him myself!”

The Princess of the Earth Kingdom. The Princess of the Earth Kingdom. That was who you really were. The Soldiers of Agni had not been the ones to destroy the wing of the Earth Palace, you had. They were not the ones who had been vastly outnumbered in the face of opposition, you were. And the royal family of the Earth Kingdom had not entirely been killed during the coup, because you were still alive.

But — but did that mean Kuei was dead? Had they gone into Ba Sing Se and found him and murdered him? Your dear brother…there was such a low chance that he would’ve survived on his own, and an even lower chance that he would’ve escaped notice. Not with his bumbling, innocent worldview. Not with Bosco constantly at his side, drawing attention without even trying. Not without any way to defend himself, no bending or weapons or guards to speak of.

Then it had been meaningless. You had given up your life for nothing. Kuei was dead. The Avatar was dead — or, if he was not quite yet dead, then he would soon fall again at Princess Azula’s hands. Ba Sing Se had been conquered by the Fire Nation, and all the while you had been lounging around in the palace of the very country that had stolen your home, attending its school and befriending its people.

“Ursa,” you seethed, getting up and pacing restlessly, the ground shaking with your every step as your long-suppressed bending flared to life and ran wildly out of control. “A prisoner of the Earth Kingdom’s. Hilarious. Hilarious. Tortured for Fire Nation secrets! What a great story, huh, Bian? Lifted directly from Seven Soldiers of Agni, I’d wager! And all the while, I was his prisoner, and I didn’t even know it! I — I spoke so kindly to the person who ordered my execution…”

The ground stopped shaking as your anger faded, replaced with a bout of the mourning you had not yet been allowed to feel. Mourning for your brother, who you would never see again. Mourning for those days you had spent with Lee and Mushi, which were the few in which you had truly been happy. Mourning for your subjects, who were now in the grasp of the Fire Nation, likely under even more oppressive conditions than before.

“What can I even do now?” you whispered, though you had no illusions that anyone would answer. There was no Quynh to advise you this time. You had to do it yourself. You had to make the decisions.

Yet, you had attempted such a thing before, hadn’t you? You had tried to do the right thing back in the Earth Palace. You had sacrificed yourself to save your brother, to buy your kingdom time, but you had been ultimately unsuccessful. The only decisions you had ever made for yourself had been the wrong ones. So how could you be sure that the next ones you made would not be more of the same? How could you be sure when there was such a high probability that you would once again choose incorrectly?

“I am lost,” you admitted to Bian, a tear rolling down your cheek, followed by another, and then another. “I am utterly lost. I have nary a clue where to go next.”

Bian blinked at you. She was the only one around who you could talk to, but of course, you should not have expected her to be able to talk back. She wasn’t a spirit in the way of Quynh. She was just a regular, if not spectacularly bred and incredibly intelligent, bird.

There was no point in dawdling about hopelessly. Once the sun rose properly, Jia-Li would awaken and realize that you were gone for good. And then — and then you could expect the worst. There was no way that the Fire Nation would allow you to live, not now that you knew your true identity. There was no way Prince Zuko would allow you to jeopardize him like that. You had only this one night before the royal forces were sent after you.

“I have to find allies,” you said as you attempted to calm yourself by recounting the supplies you had brought with you.

It was the most important thing. If you wanted a chance at retaking your kingdom, then you needed people on your side, people who had the strength to back you up in that endeavor. A few days ago, the only allies you could claim to have had were Jia-Li and Ty Lee, but the situation had changed drastically, and now, they could both be considered nothing but enemies.

Your best chance lay in finding Katara, Sokka, and the rest of the Southern Water Tribe forces. Although their fleet was nothing magnificent, it was at least a starting point, one which you desperately needed. From there, you would take their advice into consideration as you tried to figure out a way to regain your kingdom from the clutches of the Fire Nation.

You slept fitfully, restlessly, awakening often and gazing up at the moon before uneasily convincing yourself to rest for just a little longer. The effect was that by the time the blazing sun began to rise in the cloudless sky, you were no less exhausted than you had been when it had set.

“We must be off,” you said, slinging your bag over your shoulder and whistling for Bian, who had flown off some minutes ago to hunt. When she did not appear immediately, you whistled again, holding out your arm for her to perch on. “Bian! We hardly have the time for this!”

There was a furious shriek, and then Bian tumbled out of the air, one of her wings bent at an awkward angle as a raven eagle dove after her with claws outstretched. Although she could not fly, she still snapped at her foe, her fearsome beak bloody around the corners, a streak of red upon the raven eagle’s breast where she must’ve been able to catch him.

“Bian!” you shouted, racing over to catch her and holding her to your chest as the raven eagle pulled out of its dive, too cowardly to face a foe so much larger than it. It screeched at you in contempt before soaring up out of the forest and out of view. You ignored it, setting Bian on the ground and using the ends of your sleeves to wipe at her beak. “Why would you do that? Why did you challenge that awful bird?”

Bian offered you her leg. At first, you thought she was trying to show you another injury, but beyond her broken wing, she seemed to have escaped the scuffle unscathed. Seconds later, you realized she was clutching a rolled up scroll tightly in her claws, only relinquishing it when you pressed on it with your pointer finger.

“Where did you find this?” you said. It was sealed with the stamp of the Fire Nation military, though you doubted that that raven eagle had any association with the army. Likely it had intercepted some official communications, and Bian, who had after all once been a Fire Nation bird, had attacked him for the treachery.

There wasn’t much written on the note, but for you, who had just regained your memories, it was yet another foundation-shaking statement.

The Avatar lives. Alert the Fire Lord immediately.

The Avatar was alive. Aang was alive, and he must’ve hale, for such an urgent letter to be sent off to the military, which meant that there was hope. If — if you could just reach him before Princess Azula did, then there was hope. Returning to Ba Sing Se would not be such a fever dream if you had the Avatar at your side, and you scooped Bian back into your arms, kissing her between her eyes.

“You always bring me such lovely things, Bian,” you said. She cooed at you plaintively, and you winced in dismay as you realized her wing hung uselessly at her side, her body shaking in your hands from the pain of the destruction of her frail bones. “And this is the thanks you receive. From what I recall, there is a village nearby, and there should be someone who can treat you in it. We will do that first, and from there, we will figure out some way to find the Avatar.”

Strangely, as you trekked through the forest, you found yourself grateful for your enrollment at the academy. This was exactly the kind of situation you had run drills for, and whereas in your years as the princess of the Earth Kingdom you would’ve run out of breath or fallen or underwent some other, similar calamity, your time as Ursa of the Fire Nation had prepared you for this.

It was the last gift Prince Zuko had given you, unwittingly though it may have been. By sending you to that school, he had inadvertently prepared you to be his most dangerous enemy — made more dangerous for the fact that he must have believed you still loved him, or at least held enough affection for him that you’d excuse his actions upon coming to know of them.

You didn’t excuse them. How could you? He had taken everything from you, and then he had dragged you back to his nation without any care for how it might make you feel. What selfishness! What ignorance! What folly! It was blindness on his part, to imagine that a bear could flourish in a land of phoenixes, to truly believe that you could’ve been happy in the Fire Nation for any extended amount of time.

You made it to the village by noon, and though there was no reason for anyone there to recognize you, you ducked your head as you raced to the post office, where all mail brought to the village was kept to be sorted and distributed into mailboxes. Because of the large influx of messenger hawks that went back and forth from the post office, you were more likely to find help for Bian there than anyone else.

“Excuse me, postmaster, sir,” you said, bowing at the man who was sitting at the counter behind piles of letters. “Might I trouble you for a moment?”

“What is it?” he said gruffly, clearly irritated by your request. You wilted at the unsaid rebuke, but then you straightened your shoulders again. It didn’t matter if the man was annoyed — Bian needed help, and you would get it for her.

“My hawk, I think her wing is broken,” you said, placing Bian on the counter and shushing her when she tried to flap away in vain. The postmaster squinted at her.

“She’s a fine example of the species,” he said, a note of suspicion entering his tone. “Where’d you find such a lovely creature? And why’d you let her get in this condition? Birds such as her are meant to be ornaments, symbols of status, not actual messengers.”

Yet another thing Prince Zuko had neglected to tell you. Well, this you could not blame him for; Bian was not the sort to sit around and be a status symbol. Flying and working and fighting were a part of her nature, and she would be miserable without those outlets for her energy.

“She’s mine,” you said. “I got her in the capital city. You know that they only sell the finest of wares there. Though, of course, I could not afford a hawk for mere decorative purposes, so it’s true that I use her to send my letters.”

The postmaster scoffed. “Idiot.”

“Look, is it possible for her to be healed?” you said, rolling your eyes when he bent to inspect Bian’s wing. “That’s all I’m asking for, sir.”

Now that you remembered who you were, it felt odd to be so deferential to a person who you outranked so vastly. Unfortunately, at least for now, everyone thought you were nothing but another common girl, which meant that just about any person you conversed with had to be addressed with respect.

“She’ll be alright in a couple of weeks,” he said, reaching into a drawer and pulling out a piece of cloth, wrapping it around Bian’s wing so that it was flush to her body. “You’ll have to carry her around and take care of her in the meantime, but as long as you’re willing to do that, she’ll be able to fly again soon enough. It’ll be like she was never injured.”

“Yes, of course,” you said, sighing in relief at the thought that she would make a full recovery. “Thank you for your help. Did you hear, Bian? You’ll be okay.”

“You named her Bian?” the postmaster said. “What, have you been engaging with the colony trash?”

“Pardon?” you said. “What did you just say?”

“The colonies are such a blight on the Fire Nation,” he said. “Infecting even good and proper girls like you with their backwards customs and words. It’s a disgrace.”

The colonies was the general term used to refer to the Earth Kingdom villages which had fallen to Fire Nation rule. You had never been to any, but from what you had gathered, they were hotbeds of strife and inequality, where the Fire Nation soldiers lorded over the native Earth Kingdom citizens.

Of course — you had not realized it when you had given it to her, but Bian’s name was Earth Kingdom, so the postmaster was not entirely incorrect in guessing that you were from the colonies or had spent some days there. That was not what you were so horrified by — it was the latter part of his accusation, the notion of the Earth Kingdom citizens infecting the Fire Nation, which you took offense to.

Your people were not the invaders. Your people were not the aggressors. Your people had been living in peace until the Fire Nation attacked. If there was any blight, it was them, those destructive forces who burnt and burnt until the world fell to their feet. They were the stain upon the earth, so on what moral authority could this postmaster stand and claim that you were the disgraceful ones?

“Hm,” you said, though you longed to shout at him. There would be no gain from a burst of anger, though. It would only serve to give away your disguise, and you could not have that, not when you were still close enough to the capital that you could be easily tracked down by Prince Zuko and his ilk if you made even a single misstep. “Maybe so.”

“Do you need anything else? I’ll suffer pay cuts if I don’t get this mail sorted by evening,” the postmaster said.

“Pay cuts? You’re a government employee, aren’t you? Your pay shouldn’t be cut without extreme circumstances demanding it,” you said.

“It’s a new policy that Fire Lord Ozai’s put into place,” the postmaster said. “Those not performing to expected capacity will be punished, even though expected capacity is such an unrealistic goal. I haven’t seen my family in a week! I’ve just been sorting mail, mail, and more mail! But, ah, that’s not to say I’m complaining. All hail the royal family!”

“All hail the royal family,” you repeated, as was customary, even though the words were sour on your tongue. “Though that’s certainly a strange development.”

“It’s fine,” the postmaster said. “The Fire Lord is right, as per usual. If even one piece of a machine is not running smoothly, then the entire construction is forfeit. Maybe it doesn’t seem important, but if I am deficient in my work, then the entire nation will be that much delayed.”

“Very well,” you said. “If that’s how you wish to view it, I shan’t stop you. In fact, I’ll leave you to it, though not without a final question: is there any kind of transport that I can take to get somewhere else?”

“Depends on where you want to go,” he said, hunching over the pile of mail again and beginning to sort once more, eyes flicking up to meet yours when he spoke and then returning to his task immediately after.

“I’m not sure,” you said. “Just somewhere far from here.”

Belatedly, you realized you probably sounded even more suspicious, which was not a good thing, considering the postmaster was already likely questioning you, but luckily, he did not say anything beyond humming.

“I know of a couple that’s rented a carriage to take them to some southern hospital. You could probably ask to go along with them,” he said.

You brightened. The south was as good of a place to start as any; either way, it was in a different direction from the capital city, so even if the trip did not take you to the Avatar, it would deposit you in a place that was further from Prince Zuko’s reach than you were at present.

“Thank you,” you said. “And where might I find them?”

“The town square, most likely,” he said.

“Farewell, then,” you said, tucking Bian under your arm as you raced off. She did not protest, closing her eyes and enjoying the breeze as you sprinted towards the town square, hoping you would not miss the rental carriage’s departure.

As you skidded to a stop in front of a fountain, you huffed in relief when you saw a pregnant woman standing beside a man with a bag slung across his back. Though you had no description to go off of, you were willing to bet money that they were the couple that the postmaster had been referring to, and, after taking a second to catch your breath, you put on your best smile and walked over to bow at the couple.

“Hello, sir, madam,” you said. “I heard from the postmaster that you’ve rented a carriage to go to a southern hospital.”

“Yes, we did. It should be arriving soon,” the woman said.

“Why?” the man said warily, shifting so that he was standing half in front of the woman protectively.

“If you are not opposed, I should like to join you on your journey,” you said, poking Bian in the side. She squawked at you in indignation, and though you momentarily felt bad for bothering her when she was already injured, the noise served to draw the couple’s attention to her. Giving them a winning smile, you brandished Bian in front of you. “As you can see, my messenger hawk is injured. I am hoping to go to that same hospital and seek medical care for her.”

Bian cocked her head at them, blinking in a way that you could only pray they found charming. The man and woman exchanged looks.

“I didn’t know they treated animals, too,” the woman said, rubbing her stomach unsurely.

“Given the state of the, um, economy, they’ve expanded their client base,” you said, batting your own eyelashes. “I shall recompense you upon arrival, naturally.”

“I suppose it can’t hurt,” the man said, though you doubted he trusted you any.

“Thank you, sir. I promise you will not regret this!” you said.

“I sure hope not,” he said. Bian nipped your hand, and you shook your head before setting her on your shoulder, though not without reprimanding her for the impolite behavior.

“You won’t!”

The carriage rolled into the square only minutes later, and you thanked Quynh internally for sending you into the town at just the right time. Only a bit of a delay and you would’ve been stuck traveling by foot, but instead you would be making your way across the Fire Nation in relative style, taking up your own bench in the carriage and letting Bian rest atop your bags beside you.

“So, what’s your name?” the woman said as the carriage rolled off. You almost responded with Ursa out of habit, but you stopped yourself just in time. You didn’t want to wear anything associated with Prince Zuko, not even a name, and if the couple happened to be questioned at any point, then you did not want your well-known moniker to fall from their lips.

“Jia-Li,” you said easily, borrowing the first Fire Nation name you could think of, apologizing to your likely-frantic roommate as you did so. You had no specific quarrel with her, after all. One day, eventually, when she joined her nation’s army and became your enemy in full, you would not think of her so fondly, but for the moment, she was nothing more than a girl who had been kind to you. Your friend. “My name is Jia-Li.”

“That’s a pretty name,” she said.

“Thank you,” you said. You recognized that you probably ought to ask them for their names in return, but you did not. They were, after all, doing you a great favor by letting you ride in the carriage with them, and you would not repay their kindness with understanding.

If you knew their names, then you could incriminate them as accomplices in your escape, should you ever be captured or otherwise under duress. No, unawareness was the best policy. Maybe you’d seem ruder for it, but it was for their own good that you did so.

“I’m due to give birth soon,” the woman said after an awkward moment where no one spoke. “That’s why we’re going to the southern hospital, you see.”

“Do you expect complications?” you said.

“Every woman in my line has died in childbirth,” she said. “My mother, and her mother before her, and hers before her, so on and so forth. It’s like a curse. We’re hoping that, with the advancements in medicine that have taken place recently, there’s a chance I won’t fall victim to it as well. The southern hospital is supposedly the best in all the Fire Nation — we’ve been on the waitlist for an appointment for months.”

“Oh,” you said, staring out of the window at the scenery flashing by. “My mother died in childbirth as well. I suppose we have that in common.”

Or maybe not. Maybe Sokka’s hunch had been right and Long Feng had had some hand in her death, too. Maybe childbirth was just an easy way to explain her demise, which would’ve been unnatural in any other circumstance. You wouldn’t put it past the scheming Grand Secretariat and his Dai Li underlings, who had proven they would do anything for just a little bit more power.

That was the first thing you’d do, you vowed. As soon as you had your kingdom back, you would put every single one of those horrible people that had had a hand in your parents’ deaths and Ba Sing Se’s fall on trial. None of them would be spared. Even if it took days, you would bring each of them to justice. Perhaps it was a vindictive thought to have, but it made you feel better to think it, so you did not allow anything resembling a conscience to demand you stop.

“I’m sorry,” the man said.

“I mourn who she might’ve been,” you said. “But not who she was. I never knew her, after all. Though I thank you for it, you should save your concern for those in direr need.”

The closer and closer you got to the southern hospital, the more the man fretted, fussing over his wife, who seemed to be perpetually near tears. You did not blame either of them; the prospect of the woman’s possibly imminent death was sickening for you, too, and you did not even know her that well.

It was mystifying to you. If she knew that she had such a high chance of dying while giving birth, why had she chosen to conceive? It made no sense. It was an entirely avoidable form of death, and despite the insensitive nature of the query, you posed the question to her.

“Because,” she said without even taking the time to think, squeezing her husband’s hand, “there’s a chance.”

“A chance?” you said.

“A chance,” she affirmed. “That I’ll survive. That our baby will be healthy. That we can have the family we’ve dreamed of. It’s a small chance, admittedly. Maybe even a minuscule one. Most people call us insane for risking it. I’m sure you think the same. But the truth is that, as long as that chance exists, I have to rely on it. We have to.”

“Do you think it’s worth it?” you said.

“Maybe not to some,” she said. “Everyone has to decide what they value, and then they just have to do what they can in pursuit of that thing.”

You were silent for a second, swallowing, gathering your thoughts, finding boldness in the anonymity of the conversation. They did not know you, and you did not know them, and it gave you the confidence to say something you would not dare vocalize to anyone else.

“What if a person values two things that are in conflict?” you said. “Say, their home and someone they love. What then?”

It was the man who spoke up this time. “If they really love that person, then they’ll do as that person wishes, even if it’s difficult. Even if it means they can’t have something else they desire.”

He glanced at the woman when he spoke, and you realized that he must have been speaking from personal experience.

“I see,” you said. “I guess it must be like that.”

It was a confirmation of what you had thought — that Prince Zuko had never loved you, not like you had loved him. You had given him everything, had allowed him through Quynh’s Door, and all the while, he had felt nothing for you. He had been pretending. You had told him the way to get into the palace, and he had seized the opportunity you had presented him with.

That was all you were to him. That was all you had ever been. An opportunity. A key. A door. What a stupid girl you were, to think he had ever thought of you as anything but Princess Y/N, his very own entrance to the Earth Palace.

“We’re really worried,” the man confided in you as the woman slept. “It took so long for the hospital to agree to see us, and longer to find a rental carriage willing to travel so far. If anything happens and we’re late to the appointment, I’m afraid they’ll turn us away. As it is, we’ll probably arrive with only an hour to spare.”

“I’m sure there won’t be any issues,” you said. Almost on cue, the carriage caught on something, and then it rolled to a stop. You swore under your breath before pursing your lips, not wanting to seem even impoliter than you already had.

“What’s happening?” the man said in a panic, pulling the curtains back and peering out the window. His wife woke with a start, glancing around, still dazed.

“What’s going on?” she echoed.

“By my estimates, it’s a routine stop. Perhaps one of the dragon moose grew tired and needed to be given water. There’s nothing to fret about,” you soothed, though you had no clue whether that was the truth or not. “I’m sure we’ll get going in just a few moments.”

The carriage door opened, and the driver entered, hunching over to fit in the doorway as he looked at you all with a grave expression.

“It seems we’ve hit someone,” he said.

“What?” the man shrieked.

“As in, they’re dead?” you said.

“No, they’re living, but they’re demanding payment for the injuries and trauma,” he said.

“Go on, then,” you said. “Pay them.”

“The company I work for doesn’t give us extra allowance for accidents,” the driver said. “It’s stated in the terms of the contract that passengers are responsible for additional fees incurred during the trip.”

“Just negotiating is going to take a while,” the man said, pale-faced. “Not to mention any savings we didn’t waste on hiring you are meant to pay for the hospital visit. We don’t have any extra!”

“You’ve possibly wounded the child for life,” the carriage driver said dully. “Yet you’re still being stingy?”

You frowned as you watched the back and forth, the way the woman’s eyes had widened and grown glossy with tears, the way the man’s fists were clenched to disguise the trembling of his hands. Though the situation was so different, you were reminded of Ba Sing Se. Here, too, the ordinary people were suffering. And here, too, though they were not your people, you felt a sense of duty prevailing in you, commanding you to help.

“I’ll deal with it,” you said. “You, just get them to the hospital as soon as possible. They have an appointment that they cannot miss.”

“But Jia-Li, what about your bird?” the woman said.

“Eh?” you said. She pointed at Bian. “Oh, we’ll, um, find another doctor nearby. You ought to worry only for your own condition, madam.”

“Thank you, miss,” the man said.

“Consider this my payment for the ride and the advice,” you said. “I thank you for both, and I pray that your child may be born with a good spirit and a healthy mother. May Agni be with you always.”

“You as well,” the woman said.

“We won’t ever forget what you’ve done for us,” the man promised you. “This may be the last time we meet, but we’ll remember you.”

You smiled at them, picking up your bag of things in one hand and Bian in the other.

“I’ll think of you often,” you promised, kicking the door shut behind you and hopping off the carriage, waving at the carriage driver to indicate that he could leave without you before turning to the scene of the wreck — only to find that there was no wreck, just a familiar boy standing and staring at you with a dropped jaw.

“Princess — Princess — Princess Y/N? Is that really you?” he said.

Your bag fell from your hands in shock as you comprehended who you were looking at. Placing Bian on the ground, you took a step forward, reaching your hands out, trying to ascertain if he was real or not.

“Sokka?” you said. “Sokka, what are you doing here? Why do I always encounter you in these strange, random places?”

“I should be asking you the same question!” he said. “Aren’t you supposed to be dead right now?”

“Yes,” you said, and then you were throwing your arms around him and hugging him tightly, so relieved to finally have found one true ally, one person who knew who you really were. His own arms wound around your back, and unbidden, your lower lip began to tremble as the safety of his embrace finally allowed you to unabashedly weep. “Yes, I should be dead. I thought I was dead.”

“Looks like your brother threw a fit over nothing,” a new voice said — Toph! It was Toph, springing to her feet from where she had been lying in the road, dusting herself off. “I mean, honestly, I get that he was sad and all, but an escape is not exactly the moment to throw yourself to the ground and bawl and dramatically swear you’ll never leave the city your sister is buried in! It’s a miracle we dragged him and Bosco away.”

“What?” you said. “Do you — Do you mean to say that my brother is alive?”

“Yeah, he is,” Toph said. “He ran off to explore the Earth Kingdom and find himself, though. Something about how if ‘his dear baby sister could be so brave, then it was about time he started doing the same.’”

“Kuei,” you said, overcome with a wave of affection for your brother. He was alive. Somehow, despite the odds, despite everything working against him, he had made it. He had found the others, and he had survived, which meant you could see him again. The two of you could reclaim Ba Sing Se together, united in your efforts instead of carrying each other’s banners in memory.

“He really loves you,” Sokka said. “It’s one of the few things I have to give to him. He’s a lot of things, but a bad brother isn’t one of them.”

You wiped away your tears, letting go of Sokka and stooping down to grab your bag and the discarded Bian, who thankfully did not seem too miffed about the proceedings, nudging you with her beak in what you could only assume was her method of showing you affection.

“He’s the most wonderful brother,” you said. “I didn’t always appreciate that, but I will make sure to tell him every hour of every day once we may meet again.”

“That’s cheesy,” Toph said. “But kinda cute.”

“Wait, Toph,” you said. “This is a little bit unrelated, but were you the one that the carriage hit?”

“Uh,” Toph said, scratching the back of her neck.

“Well,” Sokka said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Kind of?” Toph said.

Your jaw dropped as you realized what they had done, and, looking around to make sure no one was watching, you lifted a pebble using your Earthbending and flicked it into Sokka’s forehead. This earned you a wounded yelp from him and a cackling laugh from Toph, who you had not bothered attacking on account of her seismic sense.

“You buffoons,” you said. “Did you seriously try to scam me?”

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[dramavixen]

watch this! – one and only

I watched the first episode of this with my parents. They backed out due to a little thing called instinct, which informed them that the story would turn out too sad to handle. I inherited this instinct, but proven now and again is how I don’t listen to it as often as I should. Hence, I watched this entire show by myself, fully prepared for it to make me feel like garbage. And what do I get? My own self, dunked in the trash can, accompanied by piles of tissues which have been drenched in my own tears. Aha, so this is the sorrow that is One and Only (周生如故).

What is it?

A Chinese historical drama centered around a young noblewoman, betrothed to the crown prince, who finds herself under the tutelage of a capable general — one who is also the uncle of the newly crowned emperor. At first glance, you might think, tragic historical drama, yeah, I’ve been there before. But it doesn’t matter, because this show will still end up clubbing you over the head and rendering you so. So sad.

Based on the novel, 一生一世美人骨 (One Life, One Incarnation — Beautiful Bones) by Mo Bao Fei Bao. The novel follows a female lead who has retained the memories of her past life, in which she and the male lead both met tragic fates—this drama covers that “past life.” Isn’t it so kind of them to literally tell us beforehand that it’s a tragedy? Not that it helps in mitigating the pain, but you know. At least they tried.

Unlike other historical dramas that continuously outdo one another in terms of episode count, this one spares you with its 24 episodes. It’s long enough to incorporate the inevitable political turmoil without beating that dead horse, while also developing the most satisfying and agonizing slow-burn romance known to man.

Why watch?

Made for masochists – if you’re like me, and you suffer a physical aversion to happy romances (A.K.A., romances that are actually enjoyable to watch), then let us rejoice; for the drama overlords have blessed us this one time. One and Only is the least fun time that has befallen my cardiovascular system. The whole experience is just you deluding yourself into believing that nothing bad will happen to any of the characters, while simultaneously resigning yourself to the fact that whatever’s coming is going to hurt like a mothereffer.

My favorite part is that the drama never feels like it’s trying too hard to be tragic, which I realize sounds ironic when considering how that’s its selling point. But have you ever watched a show where someone gets hit by a truck and you think, oh, I guess that’s the next story arc? This is the exact opposite of that situation, where your immersion is so deep that all the emotions you end up suffering are as genuine as if you are participating in the story itself.

We like good actors – Bai Lu cries, I cry. Bai Lu bawls, I bawl. Bai Lu looks like she’s about to tear her heart out, my chest aches like it did when I went through my first breakup. How dare she.

P.S. Ren Jialun is one of few actors who can perform the classic “stoic” character without coming off as a total plank.

Also must give credit to his character’s voice actor, Bian Jiang, who shows up so frequently in dramas that you’d think he’s the only guy in China who can talk...but he’s got such a smooooooth voice, so who am I to complain?

Good pacing – I have a hunch that the writer was once a musician, because the events in this show fall into place with impeccable timing. Nothing is rushed or draggy. You get to witness the main relationship develop without feeling like the leads are being forced together just because they’re the main characters, but no unnecessary problems are sprinkled in to add “excitement” or “suspense” either. The plot is straightforward in the best way possible.

On...ly...YOUUU – I prefer this show over its sequel (which is basically the redemption arc of the leads’ relationship), if only for how pure, yet heavy, the romance turns out to be. There is nothing that can make you doubt their affection for one another. It almost entirely consists of yearning, and pining; then some more yearning and pining. Maybe the occasional longing glance, if the directors are feeling generous. In other words, it’s the superlative form of romance. Are my genre preferences showing yet?

I despise this drama’s poster. It looks kinda cute, doesn’t it? Yeah, that’s how they get you interested. Then when you see it again after watching the show, it’s suddenly the most gut-wrenching piece of marketing in existence. Why.

Pretty – gotta love looking at gorgeous setups with specific color palettes. It’s very nice, to have something beautiful to look at after the tears clear from your vision.

10 out of 10, provides a solid punch to the heart. Don’t forget to prepare water. Can’t finish the drama and cry your eyes out if you pass out from dehydration, itself caused by crying.

[queenofbaws]

not exactly sure how this would manifest itself but "right person, wrong time" for hawke/varric? if you can? <3

six sentence sat(or)sunday!!!

“Oooh, my, my, Varric,” Hawke had drawled, voice pitched high like some noble lady overhearing a juicy piece of gossip at an Orlesian salon. She’d dropped herself into his chair without any sort of decorum, lacing her fingers together solely so she could set her chin upon them and bat her eyelashes. “You know...I never had you pegged for the jealous type.”

“Not jealous,” he’d said back, probably a touch too quickly at that, “Concerned. I’m a taken man, Hawke, Bianca’s the jealous one.” He’d chuckled as he’d said it, but she hadn’t; no, if memory served, she’d actually gotten pretty quiet after that.

But that was the thing about memory - it had a habit of changing around on you. Maybe it hadn’t happened that way, him saying that and her usual snickering tapering off. Maybe her smirk hadn’t withered into something smaller, flatter, something turned down at the corners. As a narrator he’d never been terribly reliable - even when it came to the facts of his own life - so it stood to reason that maybe, just maybe, the conversation hadn’t happened that way. If there was any one thing he was good at, after all, it was lying, and lying was only a step away from exaggerating, so that was probably all it was.

(He typically opted to ignore that the second thing he was good at was spotting shitty self-serving bullshit from a mile away.)

It was a pointless thing to dwell on now; insulting, really, considering there was a hole in the sky and the world seemed pretty damn intent on ending. Demons were falling from the heavens themselves and there he was, folding and unfolding the memory of a single conversation like a letter, worrying at it until its edges frayed and the ink smeared. There were a million more pressing matters that required - deserved - his attention, but...but at the end of the day...at the end of most days, if he was being honest, it was always Hawke he found himself thinking of. Wondering about. Missing. 

Those were the nights he couldn’t help but run through that goddamn conversation until he made himself sick.

He’d said something about Blondie being dangerous, then, or desperate, or complicated, or a synonym with roughly the same number of syllables, and that felt like proof he was misremembering, too. What had he ever had against Anders back then? They’d been friends, pals, co-conspirators grinning over their increasingly ridiculous lists of how to best get back at Bartrand, trading playful jabs over drinks as they cheated each other out of ill-gotten coin. There’d been no smoking rubble in the Chantry square yet, there’d been no impassioned speeches in the blood-soaked Gallows - he’d had no reason to bristle when he’d first heard the rumors about the two of them.

Except maybe he had. Maybe Hawke had been that reason.

And maybe that was what was coloring the whole thing now that he was looking back on it.

She had smiled and said something flip in return, something about not being turned off by crazy or wanting to follow in her mother’s footsteps, and that he really couldn’t remember because there were so many things she could’ve said, so many things that would’ve fit - at least from where he was now, knowing what he knew about where the story ended. Usually that was the part of the memory where he convinced himself her expression had changed again, that he’d seen she had been stricken in some way, that...

That he’d yanked the rug out from under her feet and left her to stumble. That they’d both known from the first moment they’d wrenched themselves out of the Deep Roads, bloody and bruised and more than just a little bit broken, that there would never be anyone in the world meant for each other in quite the same way they were, and maybe it was about time one of them finally said it aloud. That she’d been hoping he’d been jealous. That she’d been hoping.

And he’d picked Bianca after all.

[dangermousie]

There are Wu Chang Jie extras and they are glorious!

Xie Bian finds the soup of forgetfulness in Fa Wushe’s things and shit hits the fan. I love that before that, they are basically living a cottagecore life and all that loveliness but I love even more that things aren’t perfect and not perfectly fixed and past lives and past portion of present life keep casting shadows.

And how it makes sense that this is the first conclusion Bian comes to and it’s not unreasonable for him to do so but what blew me away is Wushe’s explanation that he thought about this for a hot second but ultimately that is not what the soup was for.

Just!!! I remember speculating that this was one way the ending could be happy (for a value of happy) and it almost was.

And I want to bring up two things: (1) the fact that Wushe, who managed to survive infernal hell with his memories intact, who refused the soup and waded through the river of mad souls instead, because he needed and he wanted to keep his memories of Bian and of them and for whom forgetfulness was the worst thing possible, was desperate enough and willing enough to drink it if that was the only way to be around Bian because being around Bian even if he didn’t remember who Bian was and why he wanted to be around him, shows more than anything else even how he is subsumed in Bian (the emotional power balance of that relationship always has been Bian having the whip hand and it’s only just and it is why it works) and (2) Bian looking at Wushe’s “sorrowful eyes” and not being able to tell whether it’s the truth - the damage that Wushe inflicted in life 1, and the lying in life 2 have left a permanent effect and damage and scar on Bian and I find this so realistic that he is unable to automatically trust and probably won’t for a very long time. Actions have consequences and love does not wipe that. Bian loves Wushe and has forgiven him but it will take him a long time to truly move past the past and I love it so much - that things don’t magically fix themselves. But also they don’t need to.

I really do love that they have so much to work through, that this is a work in progress ad Wushe still needs to work on earning Bian’s trust and will for a long time but it doesn’t have to be perfect to be good, that you can still be together while working out issues, while figuring out where comfort lies.

Also, I love that in between all the meditation on past and forgiveness we get hilarious passages like this:

Yes, indeed. As the amazing translator so succinctly put it:

And back to less gonzo matters, I love this passage so much:

I love this because really isn’t it the message of the whole novel? That future is not guaranteed and permanent happiness is impossible so all you can do in this dark, unjust, horrific world is to sees the momentary happiness and revel in that.

Because think about it - none of the problems of the world itself, the horrific structural injustices, have really been fixed - they have been incrementally bettered but the basic issues remain. And with the OTP - what will happen long term? They are mortal, when they die, will they choose to remain as ghosts? Because Wushe will not drink the soup and separate from Bian? But ghostly existence is not full existence either, especially for someone like Bian who loves mundane portions of human life so much. It’s not really solvable and it can’t be, but ultimately you should just seize the moment and enjoy that and that’s all you get but you just might make it enough.

Wu Chang Jie was probably the most gonzo danmei I’ve read and in some ways made 2ha seem a model of Victorian restraint. It was a mix of character development, relationship dynamic, a meditation on love and forgiveness and identity and memory and meaning of life and goodness, wrapped in a bleak, nihilistic world-building AND some truly gonzo explicit and plentiful noncon. And yet this super crazy mix somehow worked. I loved it so. GUUUUH

It’s in my Top 3 web novels of all time in terms of pure favorites (Yuwu and 2ha being the other.) Qiang Jun Jiu is objectively a much better novel. But emotionally, it has to be at number 4 because WJC takes my narrative kinks and hits them like a giant drum over and over.

[shinydelirium]

MLQC Season 2 Chapter 12 (Kiro) Part 4 [Confession of the Stars] Translation [CN]

***SPOILERS*** THIS POST CONTAINS HEAVY SPOILERS FOR CONTENT NOT YET RELEASED ON EN SERVER!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!***

For previous translations of Season 2 Chapter 12: Part 1/ Part 2/ Part 3

Enjoy~

[Confession of the Stars]

Even so, I still didn’t see Kiro’s face. The hospital still expressed his unwillingness to see anyone.

But nonetheless, it was fine for me to text him. I want him to know that he is not alone.

As long as he wants, I will appear in front of him immediately.

In the past two days, Kiro has asked Savin to bring his belongings to him from time to time and sometimes buy a few books.

After entrusting a lawyer to submit my alibi for me, I no longer need to go to the Task Force for regular reports.

However, the previous hospital hostage incident triggered more and more group skirmishes and discussions on the Internet continued on.

Everyone wants become the one who wins the right to speak. On the other hand, the hostile takeover incident of LFG, which had been raging before, was gradually suppressed.

There hasn’t been much movement on LFG’s side, so the problem probably isn’t that serious. I also successfully sent out the USB flash drive according to Gavin’s instructions.

Many departments of the company are asking whether or not to follow the hot topics to produce a show. I was so busy that I could only text Kiro at night.

Such days lasted for more than a week.

After nine o’clock in the evening, I had just entered the house, dragging my weary body when Kiro called.

Kiro: ….Miss Chips?

His voice was a little cautious, wary, and even quivering.

MC: What’s wrong?

Kiro let out a little laugh from the other end.

I’ve been so out of it lately. It’s been a very long time since I heard him laugh so enthusiastically.

Kiro: MC, say my name.

MC: Kiro, are you okay? Why are you so happy?

He didn’t answer but just laughed happily.

Kiro: What are you up to?

MC: Of course, I just got home from a rough day at work. ***Changed some wording***

Kiro: Thanks for all the hard work, Miss Chips.

I was lying on the sofa and complaining to Kiro about recent events. He listened carefully, and from time to time he also grumbled about his troubles to me.

This moment gave me a certain illusion, as if nothing was wrong.

The next day I heard that Kiro asked Savin to bring his guitar.

At the same time, the Task Force came forward and started to take control of the chaotic situation reasonably and accurately.

I checked Weibo and found that more and more people are no longer emotionally angry, but deeper in discussion about the relationship between Evol and ordinary people.

Along with the nice weather, I think a lot of things are heading in a good direction little by little.

I had a rare chance to get off of work early today. After thinking about it, I went and bought Kiro’s favorite canelé and arrived at the door of his ward.

MC: It would be wonderful if I could see him today…

While I muttered this, I stretched out my hand to knock on the door.

Before I could, an overly harsh and messy guitar chord came to my ears and left me frozen in place.

The crude, sharp sound felt as if it was forced out like a shout being torn from a person’s throat and the chords held some frustration within them.

It was so depressing. It was even hard to breathe.

After a profound silence, a few faint guitar notes came quietly as if crying. The voice was soft and desperate, as if it was not a note.

But a shattered dream.

I leaned on the door and listened to the broken chords, holding my breath without making a sound.

Finally, I left the snack in the nurse’s care. I told her to give it to Kiro after waiting for a bit and then left.

On the way home, a new advertisement shot by Kiro some time ago is being displayed on the large screen on the side of the road.

Passerby A: Kiro clearly announced that he’s an Evolver. Why is he still so popular?

Passerby B: Kiro is Kiro. What does that have anything to do with being an Evolver?

Passerby A: Maybe he used some special Evol to control you and made you like him so much.

Passerby B: Do you actually know him or even understand him?! Of course, there’s a reason why Kiro is so well-liked. Do you think Evol can do everything?

Passerby B: I’ll show you this collection. You’ll understand after reading it. Why hasn’t he released a new song yet….?

The girl and her companions walked away slowly and I watched their backs disappear into the night.

In this turbulent moment, there are still many people talking about him, expecting him, and waiting for him. But at this time, I don’t want to tell him this.

Stars dotted the night sky, watching the whole city tenderly and peacefully.

I took a photo of this night sky with my phone and sent it to Kiro.

I don’t know what Kiro is struggling by himself, but I hope he won’t make all his expectations become his own burdens.

There was no reply from Kiro that night.

Until 7:25 the following evening, my phone rang.

***During this next scene, the 3rd anniversary song is being played. It made the entire scene so much more emotional and touching but also sad. The BGM in this whole chapter was meticulously chosen.***

Kiro: Good evening, Miss Chips.

Kiro: How did you know that I wanted to eat canelé? When I ate it yesterday, tears were about to come out.

MC: Tears from the corners of your mouth? ***T/N: She means drooling***

Kiro: Hehe, hurry up and remove the camera you installed on me!

MC: If there really was a webcam, that would be great….by the way, how are you today? ***Woah, woah, MC!!! So you want to upgrade from sneaky pictures to sneaky videos? MY GIRL!!!***

Kiro: Of course, I’m doing well!

MC: That’s good. It seems that the retreat is working effectively.

Hearing what I said, he laughed. His voice full of energy.

But we both know that these are all tacit masks.

Kiro is too clever. He must know how weak his excuses for shutting himself up are.

So weak that he doesn’t believe them himself.

When 7:30 came around, Kiro stopped talking. Then suddenly he spoke solemnly.

Kiro: Miss Chips, I want to play some songs for you.

MC: Okay! I haven’t heard you play a song in a long time.

Gentle guitar music came slowly from the other end of the phone. I imagined Kiro playing right now and closed my eyes, feeling a little nostalgic.

Soon, one song was finished.

Kiro: Sitting on the bed and closing my eyes just now, it felt like I was in a concert.

MC: That’s not right. The audience hasn’t arrived yet and you can’t have a concert with just you.

Kiro: Then come to the special concert. A concert dedicated by Kiro himself.

Kiro: Miss Chips is the only special guest.

MC: That’s not very monotonous.

Kiro: How could it be?

Kiro: Miss Chips, are you standing by the window right now? Can you see the stars outside?

Listening to what he said, I immediately got up and went to the balcony.

The stars outside the window twinkled and hung in the night sky like little lights.

MC: I can!!!

Kiro: My favorite stage is like this starry sky.

Kiro: That was my first stage. It was not very big and crowded with people.

Kiro: That day was the same as today, a sky full of stars. There was a long passage leading to the main stage.

Kiro: Every time I stepped on a square, a star will light up under my feet.

Kiro: The audience turned on the flash from the back of their phones and the whole world seemed to be connected into a sea of stars.

Kiro: In that moment, I told myself to shine in this sea of stars and become the brightest one.

I slowly listened to him talking about his beloved stage and the brightest star in his heart.

I was on this end of the phone, looking at the starry night outside. I could feel him holding my hand and leading me towards the stage.

I saw him piously touching the places he knew and missed the most, holding the guitar and standing in the most radiant place.

His entire being seems to be shining.

Kiro: Miss Producer, would you say I’ve done it? 

MC: Of course.

MC: You did it long ago.

Kiro laughed lightly. This time the guitar music was accompanied by his singing.

His voice is so soft and sincere, like some kind of long-distance reunion. Like a farewell to something.

After a dozen songs were sung one after another, Kiro’s voice was already a little hoarse.

MC: ….Since it’s a concert, can I still have an encore?

Kiro: (chuckles) Since it’s MC’s request, I would definitely not refuse it.

Kiro: This is the last song called “Confession of the Stars”.

***T/N: Decided to include both the EN and CN versions of the lyrics. I’m not a songwriter so the CN version is what Google Translate gave me. I really love Bian Jiang’s singing in this scene so do give it a listen 😉. Also, I love how there’s no BGM music playing while he sings because I feel like that would just take away some of the emotion.***

Kiro: (EN version) “I got a song that I wanna sing for you~ It may not be perfect, but it will have to do~”

“Dreaming your dreams and going your own way~ Sometimes you feel lonely, sometimes heartbreak…”

(CN version) “There is a song I want to sing for you~ For you who work hardest in the world~”

“On the road towards your dream~ Sometimes you feel a little lonely….”

***Now I can’t hear this song the same way ever again. WHY, KIRO!?! TELL ME WHY!?!? YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO BREAK MY HEART!!! TAT***

When I heard the familiar, leisurely melody, I was overwhelmed. The song seemed to pass through time, embracing me tenderly.

I always feel that something will end after this song. I want to try my best to hold onto it, but I can only grasp at nothingness. ***FORESHADOWING!!! Actually, this entire “concert” is.***

Eventually, I could only wait quietly for it to come to an end.

Kiro: (sighs) The concert is over. Thank you, Miss Chips.

Kiro: (In the sweetest, most tender voice): Good night.

-End of Part 4-

[j2-are-eternal]

Bi Dean bi Dean

Bidean nam Bian, lying to the south of Glen Coe, Highland, Scotland, is the highest point in the former county of Argyll. It is a complex mountain, with many ridges and subsidiary peaks, one of which, Stob Coire Sgreamhach, is classified as a separate Munro.